far away. But while the idea of a “fresh start” can be inspiring, the expectations and pressure we place on ourselves aren’t always helpful.
Striving to be our “best selves” can sometimes lead to unnecessary stress. When we set impossibly high standards and struggle to meet them, we may feel guilty or disappointed in ourselves. Others push too hard, only to feel burnt out before the first month of the year is even over.
So, as the New Year begins, it may be worth approaching change a little differently.
Should You Set New Year’s Resolutions?
Some people find New Year’s resolutions motivating and supportive of their mental health. Others find them overwhelming or unhelpful. Before setting any goals, it’s worth asking yourself whether resolutions feel like encouragement — or pressure you simply don’t need right now.
And it’s okay if you decide resolutions aren’t for you. You don’t need a list to define who you are or what you’re capable of.
Rethinking Resolutions
Many of us set “negative” resolutions, such as cutting out certain foods or spending less money. While there’s nothing wrong with wanting to stop habits that don’t serve us, strict and inflexible rules can make it easy to feel like we’ve failed after one slip-up.
Instead, try reframing goals in a more positive and flexible way. For example, “I will eat more nourishing foods” rather than “I will stop eating unhealthy food.”
This shift allows room for balance and self-compassion.
Make Your Goals Flexible
Life doesn’t stay the same from week to week. Busy periods, illness, stress, and unexpected challenges are all part of being human. When setting goals, flexibility allows them to fit into real life — not compete with it.
Start small and review your goals regularly. If you’d like to read more, your first goal might simply be to start a book. If time is tight, audiobooks or podcasts could be a great alternative.
You can also plan for tougher days. If your goal is to exercise more, you might decide that during busy or low-energy times, 10 minutes of gentle movement is enough.
Set Resolutions with Self-Kindness
We are often our own harshest critics. When we fall short of our goals, we can judge ourselves far more harshly than we would anyone else.
Try treating yourself the way you would treat a friend. If a friend didn’t meet a goal, you’d likely offer kindness, reassurance, and encouragement — not criticism.
If a resolution isn’t working or feels wrong, practicing self-kindness means listening to that and adjusting. Trying your best can look different every day, and recognising when something needs to change is something to be proud of.
When Goals Don’t Go to Plan
One reason resolutions can affect our mental health is how we define success and failure. Rigid goals often create an all-or-nothing mindset: we either succeed or we fail.
But life is rarely that simple. Growth happens through trial, error, and learning. When we reframe “failure” as feedback, it becomes part of the journey rather than something to avoid.
As you set goals this year, make space for learning, adjusting, and growing along the way.
Try Something New
Trying new experiences — especially those slightly outside our comfort zone — can be great for our mental health. Life often feels more interesting and rewarding when we stay open to experimenting and changing how we do things.
You might set an open goal around trying new experiences or make something more specific, like taking a different walking route or learning a new skill. What matters most is being open and giving it a go — and celebrating that effort.
A Final Thought: Be Kind
Kindness benefits everyone. It can lift our mood, strengthen relationships, and help us cope with stress.
This year, you might choose a resolution rooted in kindness — towards others and towards yourself. That could mean volunteering, helping a neighbour, supporting a friend, or simply practicing small acts of kindness in everyday life.
As the New Year begins, remember: a restart doesn’t have to be about doing more or being better. Sometimes, it’s about being gentler, more flexible, and more compassionate with us.